


Text Me A Story

by rowanstrange



Category: The Two Princes (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drunk Texting, F/F, F/M, M/M, Meet-Cute, Modern Era, Modern Royalty, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:08:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27490210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowanstrange/pseuds/rowanstrange
Summary: Amir had no idea why he kept answering the obviously tanked person texting him at two in the morning. Or what possessed him to keep texting the next day.
Relationships: Amir & Rupert (Two Princes Podcast), Amir/Rupert (Two Princes Podcast), Cecily/Joan (Two Princes Podcast)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 49





	1. Saturday, October 2nd

**Author's Note:**

> I hit writer's block on my other fic, A Head Full of Straw, so I wanted to try something different. I love the idea of having the podcast play out via text and thought it would be a fun challenge to get my creative juices going again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amir didn't appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night by someone totally trashed.
> 
> Especially someone who kept calling him C.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: I had to re-write this chapter because somehow I pasted over it with a later chapter and couldn't recover it.
> 
> Always backup your fanfics in a Word or Google doc, kids!

555-337-5877  
  
**Today** 2:29 AM  
C  
  
C  
  
C  
  
C  
  
C i wanna gooooo  
  
Sorry, I think you have the wrong number.  
  
o  
  
sry  
  
  
**Today** 2:36 AM  
C  
  
C srsly  
  
C plez  
  
i don feel gud  
  
This is still the wrong number.  
  
sory dud  
  
**Today** 2:40 AM  
  
C  
  
i think im gonna b sic C  
  
and d wont leve me alon  
  
we rly need 2 go  
  
I'm sorry, I'm not C, but  
  
Do you need help?  
  
no sry im ok  
  
sry i keep wakin u  
  
It's ok.  
  
I'm awake now.  
  
You sound like you're somewhere you don't want to be.  
  
parti  
  
Ok.  
  
Is C your friend?  
  
Did they come to the party with you?  
  
yea  
  
Cs my ride  
  
2 mani ppl here  
  
to much drunking  
  
It sounds like it.  
  
Do you feel safe?  
  
y  
  
Ok. Are there any water bottles at this party?  
  
yus  
  
swis water  
  
fncy  
  
Good. Go ahead and drink one or two of those, it'll help you sober up a little bit.  
  
  
**Today** 2:49 AM  
k  
  
drink 2  
  
You're doing good.  
  
Is there any food around?  
  
kake  
  
whit choclat  
  
gros  
  
nd pizza  
  
Do you think you can stomach some of the not-gross pizza?  
  
is peproni  
  
evil  
  
Can you pick off the pepperoni?  
  
don want 2  
  
Would you try?  
  
For me?  
  
fin  
  
ill pull of the evl meets  
  
I appreciate it, thank you.  
  
  
**Today** 3:05 AM  
Are you still there?  
  
ys  
  
just finsh  
  
Good.  
  
How do you feel?  
  
better  
  
les sick  
  
Good.  
  
Why don't you try to find C now?  
  
will u stay w me?  
  
Yeah.  
  
Of course.  
  
I'm not going anywhere.  
  
  
**Today** 3:22 AM  
Any luck?  
  
n  
  
cheking upstars pool  
  
Ok.  
  
I'll be here.  
  
  
**Today** 3:22 AM  
fund C  
  
was in jacuzzzzzzzi  
  
4 floor  
  
Sounds like a swinging party.  
  
Are you both heading home?  
  
y  
  
Good.  
  
Get home safe, ok?  
  
k  
  
ty 4 talkin  
  
ur nice  
  
You're welcome.  
  
Have a good night.  
  



	2. Sunday, October 3rd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The horrific spelling and punctuation should have been enough to repel Amir from ever following up with the drunk texting him last night. But he would be remiss in his royalduties if he didn't make sure they were ok. 
> 
> Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I'm feeling it, I want to run with this fic.

555-337-5877  
  
**Today** 12:49 PM  
hey  
  
so...  
  
[](https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/ext_5580186/87314567/348/348_original.png)  
sorry again for last night  
  
I don't usually get...  
  
like that  
  
when I drink I mean  
  
usually I'm much more suave and cool  
  
mostly  
  
It's ok. I'm glad you made it home alright.  
  
oh  
  
good  
  
  
**Today** 12:53 PM  
  
I just had a really rough day yesterday  
  
and I needed to blow off steam  
  
and that fifth tequila shot was like a REALLY BAD idea  
  
but I just wanted to  
  
  
Forget?  
  
yeah  
  
everything  
  
I'm sorry, I keep interrupting your day with my sob story  
  
thank you again for answering my drunk texts  
  
I barely had a headache this morning thanks to your hydration coaching  
  
I'll let you go  
  
have a nice day  
  
You talk a lot.  
  
yeah  
  
sorry  
  
No, I don't mind.  
  
You can keep texting me, if you want.  
  
oh  
  
sure  
  



	3. Monday, October 4th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At least Amir tried to think creatively.
> 
> No one could ever accuse Fitz of that.

555-337-5877  
  
**Today** 11:34 AM  
So...  
  
I just realized...  
  
I do not...  
  
KNOW  
  
YOUR  
  
NAME  
  
All of that could have been one text.  
  
[ Why would you call me out like that?!  
  
Sorry.  
  
I'm just messing with you  
  
But I would like to call you something besides 555-792-2452  
  
If you're comfortable with that?  
  
I'm Chad.  
  
Ok  
  
Chad  
  
I'm Fitzroy  
  
Ok, I could definitely feel your judgment all the way over here.  
  
But Fitzroy? Really?  
  
I would have thought with your propensity for drama you would have picked something more believable.  
  
Wow, some actual sass from Mr. Perfect Punctuation!  
  
But yeah, Fitz isn't my real name  
  
It's... complicated  
  
I'm well-known where I'm from  
  
And people can take advantage of that.  
  
You probably won't believe me, but I'm actually in the same boat.  
  
That is kind of hard to believe  
  
But  
  
I actually like texting with you  
  
So maybe  
  
We can just be Chad and Fitz?  
  
I like that.  
  
Me too  
  
Nice to meet you, Chad  
  
Nice to meet you, too, Fitzroy.  
  
](https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/ext_5580186/87314567/1155/1155_100.png)


	4. Tuesday, October 5th Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bored Fitz is a weird(er) Fitz.

Fitz  
  
**Today** 1:19 PM  
CHAAAAAAD  
  
Yes?  
  
**Today** 1:21 PM  
CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD  
  
Yes Fitz?  
  
**Today** 1:24 PM  
C  
  
H  
  
A  
  
A  
  
A  
  
A  
  
A  
  
A  
  
A  
  
A  
  
A  
  
A  
  
WHAT?!  
  
D  
  
For the FOURTH time, Fitz, YES?  
  
[](https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/ext_5580186/87314567/1517/1517_100.jpg) Are you SERIOUS?  
  
You sent me a text barrage like a hyperactive squirrel after chugging a barrel of caramel corn because you’re BORED?  
  
well when you say it like that it sounds ridiculous  
  
I’m going to stop responding now.  
  
noooooooooo  
  
chad I’m boooooooooored  
  
let’s play 20 questions!  
  
Not responding.  
  
that was a sentence fragment  
  
**Today** 1:29 PM  
[](https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/ext_5580186/87314567/2308/2308_100.png) **Today** 1:33 PM  
I’ll keep barraging your phone  
  
most likely with with meme bombs  
  
just slowly EATING AWAY at your precious data  
  
and phone storage  
  
FINE.  
  
[](https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/ext_5580186/87314567/2158/2158_100.jpg) [](https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/ext_5580186/87314567/2015/2015_100.jpg) I’ll go first  
  
what fictional place do you wish you could live in?  
  
**Today** 1:36 PM  
you can’t just ignore me  
  
I am AMAZINGLY annoying  
  
You? No.  
  
I needed to think.  
  
I guess OASIS in Ready Player One. Without the corporate fascism, of course.  
  
of course  
  
your turn  
  
What’s your favorite color?  
  
WOW  
  
first Chad now this?  
  
you are REALLY digging deep into your creative reservoirs  
  
Just answer.  
  
it’s teal  
  
Nice.  
  
Your turn.  
  
do you have any siblings?  
  
No, only child.  
  
same  
  
wish you ever had any?  
  
You already asked your question, it’s my turn.  
  
What is the most annoying question people ask you?  
  
are you friends with “insert famous or important person here”  
  
like just because everyone knows me doesn’t mean I know everyone!  
  
super frustrating  
  
I don’t get that question very much, but I’ve gotten it once or twice.  
  
ugh lucky  
  
same question to you  
  
”Can you put in a good word with your mother?”  
  
It’s annoying.  
  
Especially when you thought someone was interested in talking to YOU, but it turns out they were just playing nice for an introduction.  
  
How am I even supposed to know who likes me for ME?  
  
Chad I  
  
No, sorry, that was a lot to unload on you.  
  
no it really wasn’t  
  
just because your family does whatever they do you’re allowed to have real friends  
  
I have too many responsibilities for real friends.  
  
well  
  
now you do  
  
if you want to?  
  
Yeah.  
  
I’d like that, Fitz.  
  
But that counts as your next question.  
  
DAMNIT  
  



End file.
